


stardust

by specs of glitter (nekrateholic)



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-22 04:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19659982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/specs%20of%20glitter
Summary: In which Sana has a band, Jihyo has their contract and the few steps it takes to get on stage are infinite.





	stardust

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: [she's my winona](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9jFt0-SG7U)  
> psa: as far as i'm concerned, jihyo's dad is _not_ jyp in this. but if you wanna think abt it that way i can't rlly stop you so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

There are a series of soft knocks on Jihyo’s door. The sound doesn’t quite break through her dreams and she rolls over, dragging her blanket over her eyes. In the dream, she’s on a stage. The lights from it reach just far enough to see the first few rows of screaming people—no, fans. Because they're all here for her. To hear her sing.

Her dad is there too, stage right. His guitar flies on its strap like she’s seen in so many videos from back in the day, when there were stadiums screaming his name. But now they’re screaming Jihyo’s name and her dad grins at her. He leans closer, says something but Jihyo can’t quite hear the words over the sound of the speakers, the roaring crowd. She turns to him, the light getting brighter, almost blinding when Jihyo finally hears the words—

“Hey sweetheart,” Jihyo’s dad says again, running a hand through her messy hair. She blinks awake to a soft smile and the morning sun shining right in her face.

“What’s the time?” she mutters, not really expecting an answer. She turns her back to the stupid window and tries to make out the numbers on her digital clock. Seven-thirty. “Why?”

Her dad laughs. “Your mom wanted to make you breakfast to celebrate that you’re visiting for a change.”

Jihyo’s alarm is going to go off in about twenty minutes and she laments the loss of sleep until the smell of home-cooked breakfast reaches her nose. She bolts upright, startling her father into another fit of laughter.

“I still hate the hour,” she starts, voice flat, “But I suddenly remembered why I love staying over.” The blankets are thrown off a second later and she swings her leg off the edge of the bed, careful not to accidentally kick her father in the face. 

Her father just shakes his head, smiling. “I’ve done my job now. Don’t go back to sleep.” He pats her hair again, ignoring Jihyo’s indignant huff.

♫

When Jihyo finally shuffles down the stairs to the kitchen, she sees her parents before they see her. Her mother is still cooking, her father’s hands wrapped around her waist. Jihyo’s mom isn’t one for public affection, even when it’s her own daughter so Jihyo stops at the top of the stairs, appreciating the sight.

She never noticed it as a kid but now that she’s seen more of the world the tattoos weaving around her father’s arms are a stark contrast to her mother’s pristine pink apron. They look so in love, though, even after so many years.

Jihyo finally takes those last few steps into the kitchen and, just as expected, her mother startles, pushing her father away. He doesn’t protest, too used to it by now and makes himself comfortable on the kitchen table instead. Jihyo just shakes her head, smiling.

“Hey sweetheart,” Jihyo’s mom starts, pushing a bowl of rice towards her. “I know it’s a bit early for you but who knows when I’ll see you again!”

Jihyo rolls her eyes, laughing. She hasn’t visited in a while, sure, but just the week before her dad took both her and her mom for lunch.

She missed being home, though.

“So how are your new children going?” her father asks, eyes twinkling.

It’s a trap if Jihyo’s ever seen one. It doesn’t stop her from falling for it. “I’ve been their manager for almost half a year now,” she huffs. “And stop calling them children, they’re perfectly legal adults.”

Her father smirks. “So I’ve heard.”

“Hm?” Jihyo’s mom gives them a questioning look, still stirring her pot on the stove.

Jihyo has the intense desire to bury her face in the rice. As a manager, she’s not really supposed to do… things with the artists she manages. Sure, her dad doesn't mind as long as it’s not interfering with her work and he  _ is _ the big boss, except... Except the assignment she’d had right before agreeing to manage Candy Pop, newly signed at the time, was… Not pleasant, to say the least. Jihyo promised herself work and personal life are to remain separate.

And then Minatozaki Sana happened. 

♫

Jihyo still remembers the first time she met them. 

It was at one of the huge, boring conference rooms in the serious business wing of Triple Tone, as her dad liked to call it. She was horribly early, trying to cram as much about the band as she could, even though she’d been doing exactly that for the past two weeks.

She’d made a playlist of their live performances on YouTube, studying their stage presence, the band dynamics. The contrast between the ferocious rock ladies Jihyo saw on YouTube and the giggling girls who stumbled into the conference room, six minutes late, was… something Jihyo remembers to this day.

Nayeon didn’t make it that day but even vocalist down, Candy Pop were a sight to behold.

Sana was a sight to behold.

Back then she seemed like the only one on Jihyo’s side, too. Now that she thinks about it, it was probably because Sana wanted in Jihyo’s pants. Regardless of the reason, though, Sana was a huge part of the reason Jihyo managed to convince herself she can do this.

(A year later, Sana did get into Jihyo’s pants. Maybe under her skin, too, but that’s one of those secrets everybody pretends not to know.)

♫

Jihyo has a folder full of venue suggestions on her tablet, just waiting for her. She totally plans on going through them, too, maybe even use the desk she has in their office building. She’s pretty sure it had a cobweb or two the last time she was around.

Of course, her plans get ruined not even two steps outside her parents’ house and into her workday.

_ I’m dyinggggggggggggggg _

The text is from Dahyun, a personal message too. Jihyo squints at her phone. Out of the six of them, Dahyun is the least likely to text outside the group chat, more often than not resulting in long and winded two-person conversations which Jihyo has to forcibly break up because no one else can put a word in.

(Sana doesn’t like personal messages either but she does like personal messages to  _ Jihyo _ . It’s good, because some of the texts she sends are really not something Jihyo would like people to see.)

And because it’s just her luck, when Jihyo’s phone pings next the message is from Sana.

_ Trading favors for hangover cures?????? And maybe a ride home _

It’s bait, just like it was earlier. And just like then, Jihyo takes it.

_ What favors? _

_ Special favors ;)) _

Jihyo has to take a moment to calm her heartbeat. Then she remembers her entire band is probably in a hungover puppy pile somewhere. Suddenly, her heart is racing for an entirely different reason.

Like with all potential disasters, she calls Mina first.

“How bad is it?” She asks, skipping the hello. Mina will understand.

“Chaeyoung is currently sprawled over Tzuyu, on Tzuyu’s couch.” Mina replies noncommittally. There’s the faint hum of a TV somewhere around her. “Tzuyu is glaring at me as we speak. No wait,” she adds. “I think she might actually be… Nope, glaring again.”

Jihyo wishes she’d asked her mom for another coffee. “And the other three?”

The echo around Mina changes and Jihyo can’t hear the TV anymore. “I got Dahyun and Sana a taxi last night, to Dahyun’s place. I didn’t have enough on me to send them home each. I figured it’d be safer like that, too.”

“Good point,” Jihyo mumbles, fumbling with her car keys. “I assume Nayeon went home with Chan? You were at Sunset for their show, right?”

“Yes and yes,” Mina replies. The pause stretches for a beat too long. “Do you think this will teach Tzuyu to stop giving us drinks until the bar closes?”

Jihyo finally manages to get her car unlocked without dropping either of the three bags she’s trying to balance. Curse moms and their tendency to load you with food before you leave (even if she’ll love it later). Jihyo puts her phone in the holder, on speaker. “Not really, to be honest. I’m pretty sure she actually enjoys having to take care of Chaeyoung afterwards.”

There’s the clinking of cutlery on the other end, then Mina says, “Sana is running a betting pool on when they’ll finally hook up. Or you know, date. Whichever comes first.”

In a moment of weakness, a tipsy, gloomy Chaeyoung once told Jihyo about that one time she and Tzuyu apparently made out in Sunset’s bathroom. Chaeyoung’s memories were a bit fuzzy but she’s positive it did happen, except Tzuyu never mentioned it afterwards. Cue a tipsy, gloomy Chaeyoung featuring a tub of ice cream on the floor of Jihyo’s living room. “Maybe I should join,” Jihyo says aloud. Technically, they didn’t hook up. And they’re definitely not dating.

Mina makes a sound. “Anyway, I should be going. The kids will need to be fed sooner or later, I need to find the appropriate takeout for breakfast.” The line goes quiet for a second and Jihyo reaches to end the call, when Mina’s voice rings again. “Just so you know, we have a betting pool for you too.”

There’s a click and the line goes dead.

Jihyo stops at a red light and allows herself to stare at her phone for a few seconds.

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s thing is kind of obvious so the betting pool makes sense. She’d lived under the impression that  _ her  _ thing with Sana is more subtle, though. 

Oh well.

♫

When Jihyo pulls up in front of Dahyun’s building, Sana is already leaning on the wall outside. She looks suspiciously sober, hair and make up in place as well.

“Dahyun wants coffee and muffins when we get back.” Sana states as she makes herself comfortable on Jihyo’s passenger seat.

She’s in Jihyo’s favorite dress, a simple black thing that runs a little too short but hugs Sana’s body like a dream. It’s really not anything unique, far from the most impressive piece of clothing Sana owns. Except it  _ was  _ that same dress Jihyo slipped off that first time they got in bed together. It’s safe to say Jihyo may be... a little distracted.

Which is why it takes her a moment to process Sana’s words. “I was under the impression I’m taking you home?”

“I mean, you are,” Sana agrees. She shifts around, fumbling with the seatbelt and Jihyo’s eyes drop to her bare legs. “I just promised Dahyun I’d stay over for movies tonight.”

Jihyo narrows her eyes. Sana just beams in return.

The ride to Sana’s apartment is filled with chatter, recounting the night before. Apparently a drunk Chan gave Nayeon an impromptu serenade in the parking lot, while Chaeyoung chose that exact moment to hurl into the poor bushes behind the club. 

“It was glorious,” Sana gushes, “I took so many videos!”

Jihyo rolls her eyes, trying to suppress a laugh. “Is this what you do when I’m not around?”

“We did invite you with us. And anyway, what was that saying?” Sana drums her fingers on the dashboard. “Ah! While the cat’s away the mice come out to play? Something like that.”

“The cat,” Jihyo parrots, “Is this what I am?”

Sana considers it. “I mean...”

“A glorified babysitter,” Jihyo laments, “this is what should’ve been on my job description.”

Sana points to herself, eyes wide and innocent. “I guess that makes me the cheating husband?”.

It’s a good thing they’re almost at her building already, because Jihyo is pretty sure she would’ve ran them into a lamp post otherwise. Or something.

She chooses not to comment, instead follows Sana out of the car and into her apartment building. A ride doesn’t necessarily include walking Sana home but hey, Jihyo is being a good manager here.

Sana’s apartment is spotless. Everything is in place in the way that screams  _ I’m bringing someone over today. _

Jihyo glances at the couch, throw pillows puffed out and arranged like a magazine cover, then at Sana’s perfect make up and says, “You planned this.”

Sana shrugs, then gestures to herself. “I know how much you like this dress. It would’ve been a shame to miss it.”

The mere seconds it takes for Jihyo to make up her mind are… worrying. But then she’s slipping off the stupid dress yet again and it’s hard to remember what she was supposed to worry about in the first place.

♫

“Coffee,” Dahyun sighs happily, cradling the paper cup in her palms. “What took you so long?”

“Finding the perfect outfit takes time!” Sana huffs, stealing a muffin out of the box, to Dahyun’s dismay. Jihyo does her best not to laugh because the “perfect outfit” was just the first clothes Sana managed to grab off the dryer. 

They did take a while, though.

“Anyway,” Jihyo says while both Sana and Dahyun have their mouths stuffed with muffins. “I better go. Your tour venues won’t pick themselves.”

“But do you  _ have  _ to do it now?” Dahyun whines as soon as she swallows. “We haven’t seen you in forever.”

Jihyo heaves a sigh. “We went drinking last week  _ and  _ had lunch two days ago. And that's not even counting all the times I brought you snacks during practice.

“Forever,” Dahyun repeats, with feeling.

Jihyo laughs. “You’ll survive,” throws, heading for the door.

“Refusing my hospitable offer, so rude!” Dahyun calls after her. “But I know what you can do to make me forgive you.”

Jihyo turns around, hands on her hips. “Do tell.”

“Come with us on tour,” Sana pipes in from the kitchen table. Dahyun nods.

“Guys, we talked about this.” Jihyo sighs. They did. So many times. “I’m not confident enough to be a tour manager as well and both Jeongyeon and Momo are perfectly competent  _ professional  _ tour managers. Not to mention my and also  _ your  _ friends, Kim Dahyun.”

“They’re amazing,” Dahyun agrees. “But they’re also not you.”

It’s times like this when Jihyo finds herself unable to respond. The whole manager gig was the sensible decision - close enough to feel secondhand effects of the stage drug but stable enough to make sure the bills will get paid at the end of the month. It was a job like any other and her previous assignments didn’t really help the feeling. And then there were Candy Pop. Third time signing under a company, two EPs and an album fading into obscurity before their name finally took off. You wouldn’t know that when you look at them now.

The seconds are ticking away, the silence getting more uncomfortable with each one.

Sana, bless her heart, is the one to break it. “I have an idea about how you can make it up to us.” 

Both Jihyo and Dahyun turn to look at her, with various levels of surprise (Dahyun) and betrayal (Jihyo). 

“It’s simple,” she goes on, ignoring the stares. “You go out with us. To a noraebang.”

Jihyo gives her a look. “That’s a bit excessive.”

“Coming to a noraebang or coming to a world tour, Park Jihyo.” Dahyun says solemnly. “Make your choice.”

The thing is, being in a relatively famous rock band, noraebang is not really Candy Pop’s go-to past time. Sure, they’ve gone a few times but so far Jihyo has always managed to successfully dodge those outings. She thought she was being subtle about it but, of course, nothing ever gets past Sana. 

_ The thing is, _ no one in Candy Pop has ever heard Jihyo sing. She knows she’s not that bad of a singer, but-

Having other people acknowledge it is a whole other thing. It never fails to make her  _ wish  _ and that’s a monster Jihyo isn’t ready to face yet.

(The biggest reason Jihyo chose to stay behind the stage and not on it is this: it ends. She’s not confident enough to believe a musical career would last and even if she was, her father is the living proof: it always ends. Be it for settling down to raise a kid, like her dad or simply because the stage no longer has a place for you. Candy Pop didn’t give up, made it so far but they will end too, someday. If Jihyo allows herself to get used to the stage lights, she knows watching them go out will be the same as watching her life go out.)

But right now, both Sana and Dahyun are looking at her expectantly and if Jihyo ever had a weakness, it’s her girls.

_ It’s fine, _ Jihyo tells herself as she makes the promise. It’s fine. She’s not above getting them all drunk before she picks up a mic. She’ll probably outdrink everyone anyway.

♫

Jihyo stops by the practice rooms on her way to the office, only to find Jeongyeon and Momo both in there already. 

The room in question has essentially become a storage room at some point in the past months, the equipment they’re bringing with them on tour and then some, all displayed along the walls. They have another set of instruments to practice with but the whole band insisted they practice on what they’ll actually be playing with as well. Jeongyeon, in turn, insisted they practice on random instruments as well, just in case they end up having to replace something locally.

Right now, Jeongyeon is fiddling with the tour drums, the fancy set with the logo and everything, and Jihyo can’t help but laugh. “Dahyun wouldn’t be so happy about someone else playing with her toys.”

Jeongyeon huffs. “Dahyun should be glad I’m gracious enough to allow her to lug this baby around the world.”

“We’ve worked with the same venue in Tokyo before,” Momo points out. “Their managers are pretty good at sourcing nice instruments.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jihyo waves a hand, rolling her eyes. “Tell that to Miss  _ I-want-my-logo.” _

Momo considers this for a moment, then smiles. It makes her look alarmingly evil. “We can always make prints and slap them on whatever set of drums the venue provides us with. Dahyun’s face will be priceless.”

“God no,” Jihyo shudders. “Don’t even joke about this, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Anyway,” Jeongyeon interrupts, twirling a pair of drumsticks. “I’m about to test some stuff out so if you want your hearing intact eitner grab a pair of headphones or go have fun somewhere else.”

Jihyo eyes the drumsticks. In Jeongyeon’s hands, they look suspiciously a lot like a weapon. “Do you really have to do this so early?”

The drumsticks slam on the cymbal closest to Jeongyeon and she smiles sweetly. “I need to figure out if all the equipment is good to be carried around for half a year. Do you have any idea how long it can take for stuff to get replaced if needed?”

Jihyo knows. Candy Pop, fueled by the implication their name suggests, used to smash instruments at the end of their shows. After the fifth guitar Jihyo had to replace, the instruments in question started coming out of each member’s paycheck. Oddly enough, they found alternative ways to be hardcore within a month.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Jihyo says in the end, resisting the urge to rub at her ears. She waves at Momo, then slinks out of there before Jeongyeon decides her job has been insulted again. Jihyo quite likes her hearing, thanks.

♫

The tentative tour dates are mere months away and Jihyo has a whole bunch of stuff to do before that. She picks out the sponsors, along with their various venue suggestions. She has to arrange ticket prices, sales options, promotions, too and at some point, Jihyo starts measuring days in the number of emails sent out. And phone calls. God, so many phone calls. She has to carry a second power bank now, because between organization and day-to-day babysitting her poor phone gives up on life by lunch time at best. 

In the midst of it all, her girls decide it’s a great time to write some new stuff, to have something new to show. Even though it hasn't even been three months since their last album. Which this tour is supposed to be promoting.

(But it’s okay. They may be overachievers but they’re her overachievers.)

Jihyo has well and truly forgotten about the promise, right up until the tour is about to kick off, the first date being, of course, a Seoul one.

Candy Pop have three whole new songs, along with a few reimagined actual pop covers to make up for the people who won’t get a new song with their show.

Everything is going well and Jihyo finally has time to, like, breathe when-

“Noraebang!” Sana exclaims on the day Jihyo has decided to spend doing nothing (in Sana’s apartment). “You promised, don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jihyo sighs. She flops on Sana’s couch, face first. 

But Sana isn’t done. “We can get the whole gang together!” She grabs for her phone, furiously typing a message. A second later, Jihyo’s phone pings with a notification. The group chat, then.

Another ping follows, then another, then another. Jihyo groans and reaches to put her phone on silent.

“We’re going tonight,” Sana announces, putting her phone down. “Apparently Chaeyoung knows a guy, they’ll keep one of the more secluded rooms for us.”

Jihyo groans into the pillow again.

The couch dips and a second later, Sana’s fingers card through her hair. “Hey, if you really don't wanna go I’ll cancel it. We can go get dinner somewhere nice instead.”

Dinner sounds amazing, except Jihyo didn't have to look to know that Sana’s eyes sparkled in that special way earlier, when she set the whole thing up. Who is Jihyo to take that away from her?

“It’s fine,” she says aloud, finally turning to meet Sana’s eyes. “I did promise and we haven't gone out together in forever.”

What Jihyo doesn't expect (even though she really should have) is for Sana to squeal in delight, flopping right on top of her.

It makes the doubt swirling in her stomach calm down a bit.

♫

“Hey,” Nayeon croaks when she climbs into Jihyo’s car. She doesn’t live close, exactly, but it’s close enough that Jihyo doesn’t mind taking the slight detour to pick her up. 

Sana frowns from the passenger seat, speaking before Jihyo has the chance to. “What’s wrong with your voice? Also, where’s Chan?”

Nayeon leans between the seats. “I think I’m coming down with a cold, my throat isn’t all that good,” she whispers, then flicks Sana’s forehead. “And I kicked Chan out, of course. You made it very clear this is a girls’ night out.”

“No singing for you tonight,” Jihyo announces, final. They stop at a traffic light and she takes the chance to turn around and give Nayeon A Look. “No alcohol either, you’re on warm water only tonight and I’m taking you to the doctor tomorrow.”

“But mom,” Nayeon fake-whines, then laughs. “I was at the doctor already, she said it’s just a cold. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine in time for the show.”

Jihyo nods, stealing another look at Nayeon in the rear view mirror. She doesn’t look that bad, she just  _ sounds  _ bad. “Still no singing and no alcohol, though.”

“Yes sir,” Nayeon salutes, still laughing. Sana joins, and Jihyo rolls her eyes, not even trying to cover up the fond smile on her face. Insecurities aside, it really has been a while since they all went out together. Sure, she’s seeing them on a daily basis but… not like that. Like they’re friends first, coworkers next. It’s a great feeling.

♫

It’s not so great when Jihyo is the first one to get handed a mic as soon as they step into the room. 

“Guys, c’mon,” she argues, in vain, because Chaeyoung just nudges her in front of the screen in turn.

“Listen,” she says as she clicks through the songs, “you’ve been our manager for what, a year now?”

“It’s not a year yet-” Jihyo tries, but gets cut off again.

“You’ve been a friend for almost as long,” Mina says solemnly. She’s also grinning, but it fails to stop the emotions bubbling in Jihyo. “It’s a crime we haven’t lived through shitty singing together yet.”

“You’re literally musicians,” Jihyo whines, to no avail.

Sana’s laughter rings bright and clear behind her. “You’ve obviously never heard Dahyun trying to sing She’s Gone, drunk.”

Jihyo has. They recorded that. The video never fails to make rounds each time they spend more than two hours together at a time, outside of work.

“Okay, I can’t argue with that,” she says in the end, to Dahyun’s indignant,  _ Hey!!! _

Chaeyoung chooses a Nami song and while it is famous…

“Neither of us were even born when this came out.” Jihyo deadpans.

“My mom used to listen to it when I was little,” Chaeyoung shrugs. “And besides, it’s old, you’re old. A perfect match.”

Jihyo’s indignant squeak is drowned out by the song starting. 

She’s not sure why she thought this would be a solitary experience. Maybe it’s her nervousness showing or maybe Jihyo has forgotten what it’s like, but a second later, Sana grabs a mic and soon enough, Dahyun joins too.

None of them is drunk yet but the song is still disjointed, Dahyun’s exaggerated high notes and Sana laughing in the middle of the first verse. Jihyo laughs too and for a second, all her insecurities just… don't exist. She’s not Park Jihyo, manager of a rising rock band, singer wannabe at heart. She’s just Jihyo, singing a dumb old song with her friends, because it feels good.

“Oh wow,” Dahyun says, out of breath, when the song finally ends. “Why weren’t we aware you can actually sing?”

Jihyo shrugs, avoiding their eyes. “I’m pretty sure I’ve told you-”

“You definitely haven’t,” Nayeon agrees, slowly reaching for Chaeyoung’s beer. Jihyo stares her down until her hand retreats. “I would’ve remembered if I had a vocal rival so close,” Nayeon sighs in the end.

“Is it really surprising, though,” Sana chimes in, throwing a hand around Jihyo’s shoulders. “Her dad is a rock legend. Music is in her blood, or whatever.”

“True,” Chaeyoung nods. “It would’ve been really weird if you were an accountant or whatever.”

Mina nods. “I can’t really imagine it, to be honest.”

“Accountant,” Jihyo repeats, cringing at the image of her, stuck behind a desk all day, everyday. She’d had to use her desk at the headquarters for three days in a row and the fourth she just got her documents and moved to the coffee shop next door. 

With that, the conversation moves to the show, and what they should order next, and how the next song should be decided.

In the end, Jihyo finds it hard to remember why she was supposed to feel bad in the first place.

♫

Jihyo’s mind is buzzing with thoughts on her way home. Singing in front of Sana and the rest wasn’t nearly as scary as she made it out in her head. 

She wonders.

_ Hey,  _ she texts the one person she knows will reply.  _ Can you come over? _

Sana’s reply, as always, is almost instant.

_ omw  _

♫

She doesn’t ask what’s wrong when Jihyo invites her into the apartment they left not even four hours ago, together.

She does head for the kitchen and Jihyo’s stash of hot chocolate, though.

They end up on Jihyo’s couch, hot chocolate in their hands and the TV playing a muted cooking show in front of them.

“Why are you doing this?” Jihyo asks in the silence. “Music, I mean.”

Sana considers it for a moment. “I can’t really imagine my life without it? I know it sounds like a boring answer but I honestly can’t think of a life where I’m not involved with music. With a stage, with the crowd.”

Jihyo allows herself a moment to let the words sink in. “And what if it ends? If the band falls through. What then?”

“That’s a lot of confidence, coming from our manager,” Sana laughs. She places a finger on Jihyo’s lips before the rush of apologies can leave them. “It’s okay baby, I know what you mean. I suppose I’ll think about it then? Did you know we used to be a cover band, back when we were still starting out? We can always go back to that or post stuff on youtube, or get day jobs to fund the music and stay up writing songs until the morning. Sure, it’ll be hard and at times it’ll be awful but hey. All or nothing, yeah? Being stuck in the middle would kill me, I think.”

“Do you think it’s killing me?” Jihyo mumbles against her fingers. 

Sana’s hand travels up her cheek and she runs her fingers through Jihyo’s hair. “That’s for you to say. Everyone works different, yeah? You’re an amazing manager but when this is no longer enough, you’d be an amazing rival, too.”

“I would be?” Jihyo says, looking up to meet Sana’s eyes. Her eyes are shining with so much pride Jihyo has the urge to shield hers. “I would be,” she repeats, more confident this time. “I am.”

Sana beams at her, then snuggles closer. The cooking show seems to wrap up on the screen and is soon followed by a telemarketing segment. 

Right at this moment, Jihyo thinks her life is pretty nice.

♫

There’s one more thing she needs to do before she commits to turning her life upside down, however.

Jihyo wakes up bright and early, trying her best not to disturb Sana. It works for the most part. Sana stirs a couple of times but in the end, Jihyo manages to slip out without any major disturbances.

The drive to her parents’ house feels longer than usual.

Her mom is thankfully off on her daily coffee date with the neighbours, so it’s only her dad that’s puttering around the kitchen when Jihyo opens the front door.

“Hey baby,” her dad greets, immediately pulling a chair for her. “I didn’t expect you today. Coffee?”

Jihyo nods. She had this whole speech planned on the way here except now, with her dad watching her expectantly, words feel like such a foreign concept. A few long, tense minutes pass before Jihyo forces herself to say the words.

“I want to sing.”

It takes a bit for her dad to process the words. The seconds tick away in silence, Jihyo working herself into a panic with each and every one.

And then her dad says, “I was beginning to worry I’ll never hear those words from you.”

“What?” Jihyo blinks, momentarily stunned into silence. She was ready to apologize, maybe reconsider—

She hasn’t planned for this type of response.

Her dad pulls the chair opposite to hers, then takes her hands in his.“Sweetheart,” he starts, so gentle Jihyo feels like she’s five again. “I’ve always known you were made to be on stage. You're a brilliant manager but you'd be brilliant at anything you set your mind to.”

“But what if I’m not enough?” Jihyo blurts out. Once the words start tumbling out of her mouth, it’s impossible to stop them. “What if  _ I am,  _ but only for a little while. What if I fall in love with the stage and it doesn't love me back?”

Her dad smiles, squeezing her hands. “It’s a tough thing to love, for sure. But so worth it.”

“Do you miss it?” Jihyo asks. Except it’s obvious he does. It’s not the question she wants answers to, not really. She takes a deep breath. “Do you regret it?”

“No,” her dad says without so much as a hint of hesitation. “Would I go back to it? Probably no. I loved it as it happened, sweetheart. But now I have you and your mom and Triple Tone and I love that too.”

Jihyo doesn’t know how to respond but she does know crying is not among the options. It’s so hard, though. She meets her dad’s eyes, sees so much of that same pride Sana had last night. 

“Do you think I’ll regret it?”

“That I don’t know,” her dad laughs. His chair scrapes loudly as he gets up, and the room fills with the smell of fresh coffee. A second later, he places a mug in front of Jihyo, a mischievous smile on his face. “Even if I did, though, it’s something you’ll have to find out for yourself.”

Jihyo grips the mug, the warmth seeping into her palms until it’s uncomfortable. 

But it’s okay. Even if it burns her, she knows the coffee will still be amazing.

♫

With this newfound philosophy, she decides it’s only fair to start her new life, no longer stuck in the middle, with a confession.

“Hey guys,” she says as she slips in Candy Pop’s practice room the following afternoon. The responses are various levels of exhausted but, of course, Sana beams at her, gives a little wave even. There’s a rather big hickey peeking through the collar of her shirt, in perfect view. Jihyo remembers leaving it last night, knows she has a few of her own as well. It’s far from the first time it has happened but thinking about it, Jihyo realizes that… well. No one ever said anything about it. Neither of the girls, Jihyo included, are the type to leave a fresh piece of gossip unattended but it seems Jihyo and Sana’s thing simply isn’t that. Not fresh, anyway.

Maybe it never has been.

“Sana and I are dating,” she blurts out before she can talk herself out of it.

The whole room freezes for a moment, and then-

“Aww, I’m so happy for you,” Chaeyoung coos, slapping a hand over Dahyun’s shoulder. “Pay up, unnie.”

“Goddamn it,” Dahyun grits, turning to glare at Jihyo. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon you’re finally admitting it but couldn’t you have waited until the Seoul show at least?”

Mina laughs, and Nayeon does too, even though she tries her best to make it soundless. (It’s rather creepy, even if her voice has mostly recovered by now.)

Jihyo doesn’t quite dare to meet Sana’s eyes because they didn’t discuss this, not really. They never talked this through and Jihyo knows Sana never wanted them to be a secret, that was all Jihyo, but they still never talked about it and—

There are hands sliding around her waist and she doesn’t have to turn around to know who they belong to. “I’m sorry our personal life doesn’t suit your needs, children.”

“But it does!” Chaeyoung beams, the same time Dahyun grumbles, “You should be.”

Jihyo can feel Sana nodding, then a beat later, “I’m really not.”

“Okay!” Mina interrupts, clapping once and subsequently startling all of them. “All of this lovey-dovey shit is adorable but we have a show in three days and practice needs to happen. Like, right now.”

“I should be the one saying that,” Jihyo says, extracting herself from Sana’s arms. The magic is broken but the whole thing was not very magical to begin with. Who knew that finally admitting to your long time supposedly-not-relationship would be so anticlimactic. “Okay ladies,” she continues, walking backwards towards the door, eyes on all of them but flicking towards Sana every few seconds. “Back to work, see you later. I love you all.”

She doesn’t stay long enough for the inevitable teasing. Sana can handle herself.

♫

Jihyo is almost outside the building when her phone pings with a new text. Something tells her she knows who it’s from and is only proven right when a string of heart emojis shows up in her notification bar, next to Sana’s picture. She texts her own string of hearts, then another one for good measure.

Anticlimactic or not, knowing that nothing stops Jihyo from going back into that practice room and kissing Sana senseless is a powerful thing. Even if the rest of the group will most definitely try to end, or at the very least maul them because of it.

Love life sorted, it’s time for Jihyo to finally take the real risk.

She opens Jeongyeon’s conversation thread. They haven’t talked for the past few days, both too busy with the tour, which makes the new message stand out even more.

_ Hey _

_ Wanna start a band? _

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was an experience. and it definitely wouldn't have seen the light of day if it weren't for **I** and **A** and all the other lovely humans who sprinted with me ;; i love you all and, once again, _thank you_


End file.
